cat.

you sneaky bastard
i wanted to disdain you
rue your existence
not let you nap on my chest.
i was hoping you would be
of a crabby disposition
playful/ affectionate
is not what i had in mind.
and when you fart
little kitten farts
and then jump with surprise
do you think thats so funny?
you, cat...
i am disgraced
that sharing my bed comes
so cheaply to you
a few mews
a few pats from padded paws
and my comfortable
bachelors existence
is invaded by a feline fatale.
and whats this?
why am i carrying you up the stairs...
ayayay i am finished.

*DUET* After goodbye

New song, watch the video!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Z-Ywd7l_Q&feature=channel_video_title


VERSE 1
Spent the day inside the house
counting shadows on the wall
I know this is what i wanted
but it ain't at all
They say vision is the clearest
lookin back at where you've come
but my blurry eyes can't focus
staring at the phone

CHORUS (male)
Cause girl it seems like every day
I think about you more, the way
you get inside my head and drive me crazy
drives me crazy
And just when I am thinking I am free
I find another way you get to me
Baby I remember all the ways I let you down
and I know
I can never be the one you wrap your arms around anymore
And baby I remember every teardrop in your eye
and I know now that I was wrong and you were right
But its too late for words and talk is cheap the night
after goodbye

VERSE 2
Daddy told me this would happen
Said that you'd leave me alone
He said I'd wind up broken hearted
staring at the phone

CHORUS
'Cause boy it seems like every day
I think about you more, the way
you get inside my heart and drive me crazy
drives me crazy
and just when I am thinking I am free
I find another way you get to me
Baby I remember all the times I let you down
and I know
I can never be the one you wrap your arms around anymore
and baby I remember every teardrop in your eye
and I know now that I was wrong and you were right
But it's too late for words and talk is cheap the night
after goodbye

BRIDGE
After goodbye
I thought I heard your voice
After goodbye
I thought I felt your touch
After goodbye
I never thought
I'd want you back this much

CHORUS
'Cause boy/ girl it seems like every day
I think about you more, the way
you get inside my head and drive me crazy
drives me crazy
And just when I am thinking I am free
I find another way you get to me
Baby I remember all the ways I let you down
and I know
I can never be the one you wrap your arms around anymore
and baby I remember every teardrop in your eye
and I know now that I was wrong and you were right
but it's too late for words and talk is cheap tonight
Yea it's too late for words and talk is cheap the night
after goodbye
after goodbye

TAG
Yea I know this is what i wanted
but it ain't at all...

prophets

at the edge of the ocean
i found an old man
who believed in the notion
that life isn't planned
that its moments are golden
and turn out the best
when you show up
and let god take care of the rest
he informed me that sunsets
and clouds in the sky
are more beautiful
left to the lens of the eye
that the wrinkles and lines
on his face by his eyes
were earned and awarded
and meant to be prized
we laughed about women
and exaggerated
the beauty and grace
of whom we'd consummated
as we parted i thought
of the wisdom he shared
of the hunch in his step
and the white in his hair
and decided that prophets
don't always deliver
their message in words
to the heart of the listener

Sweat and leather

Memories sometimes have the funniest ways of drawing themselves out of the abstract and into the tangible level of experience, or existence. There are many things about my dad that I remember; (I don't speak of him in the past tense because he is dead, but simply because since they are memories I will be telling you about, the moment is dead. The events have already happened. Ergo, past tense) The particular one that came bursting into my consciousness a few minutes ago though, is his smell. There are two smells I remember clearly and associate with him. The first is his visiting smell, and the second his travel smell. When he would visit, he drove a lot. He would visit us, but couldn't stay there so he would drive between our house, Aunt Maria's in PA, and my sister Tanya's place in VA. Dad drank a lot of coffee, so he had to pee a lot. Between that and having to buy gas anyway, he spent a lot of time in gas stations. It always seemed that when he would get out of the car and we would hug, I would be saturated with an unusual mixture of gasoline, cigarettes, coffee, and Honey Buns. It never failed. I used to think that this combination existed as a single unit, and it was just what his detergent smelled like or something. Only later did I discover that it was made up of individual components that helped one to better understand his personality. The gas because his inability to stay committed to anything necessitated moving. The cigarettes were a vice he enjoyed which he knew was bad for him but continued to do anyway because well, fuck the world. Coffee was added because he did so much and needed some kind of pick me up, and the Honey Buns were quick and easy. This is perhaps an oversimplification, but I feel like at the very worst it's not far off the mark. The second smell, his travel smell, was brought to mind as I detected it wafting off of my own body today at the airport. Anytime we would greet him at the airport or he would drive straight home after a trip, again at the hug there would be an instantly recognizable scent. This time, it was simpler- sweat, cologne/ deodorant, and leather. When I got off the plane in Tokyo after 13 hours of flying, it all came back. I was wearing the same style of leather shoes he would always be wearing, and his suitcase was leather. I had been stuck in a seat for a day, so I was sweaty. And I had stopped in the men's room to try and mask the smell with a quick grab into my toiletry bag. I thought about all the places he had flown, only in the cockpit. Of all the airport announcements about unclaimed luggage he had heard, how many flight attendants had served him peanuts or pretzels, how many times he had said “Flight attendants please be seated for arrival”. It was a little surreal. The day you realize just how close to the proverbial tree your proverbial apple has fallen is an interesting one. And then you start to realize it in little ways, all the time. Despite not being there for most of my growing up years, he somehow influenced and shaped a huge part of who I am. I find it impossible to resist regularly stopping for a cup of coffee anytime I drive more than half a mile. I've been known to smoke one or two when I get really stressed. I have terrible eating habits. I wear the same leather boot-shoes, sweat like a mother and yet feel impressions are important enough to dress it up even when my arrival is in the dead of night and I KNOW I'm going to look a fright regardless. And you know what, I think I'm OK with all that. I am what I am. Don't get me wrong, I know There’s always room for improvement and every day I think what an idiot I was the day before. But that's the details part. The big picture? Life goes on, and it often goes on in the tracks of the generations before. This one's for you dad.

shoots and stems

turned stones
grubby nails
curious, green and tender
like shoots and stems
reaching out small fingers
towards the sun
my students search
scouring the familiar yard
the old haunts
for new poetry

dear today

dear today
i wanted to thank you
so many intriguing gifts
must not be ungraciously received.
i thought the mouse
delivered by a 5th grader
which was so carefully wrapped in a trash can
was perhaps
the most thoughtful.
its wide black eyes
held me transfixed
vexed.
the doors
the green doors
which i see you have seen fit
to ensure that no matter what
no matter who
or when
or why
or how often they are painted
will never, ever
be the same shade of green
inspire me.
you blessed me
with the old men
neighborhood vagrants
who loiter during the children's games
they are full of wisdom
and beetlenut.
but mostly
thanks for caring.
thank you for remembering me
for knowing that the regular fare
the usual bits
will not do for me
for taking the time to make every moment

personalized.

yours truly
the red mohawked one

Celestial

You girl, still got me running
holding still, bleeding or gunning
either way, most every day
I spend the morning hours
visiting your slender fingers
with my own
My memory sharpens
Images as sharp as surg'ry tools
manipulate my ever beating heart
I make a secret fool of me

You are a star, I am the night
I try to hold you but the light
you're always searching for
causes your shining eyes to disappear
I have not loved another
in the black absence
of your illuminating presence
Try as one might
when determined
to escape the press of certainty
around him
saturating every thought
of satisfaction
It's as though your orbit
only brings us close together
every little while
and even then
it's not as close as I would like.

Song- Freebird

Watch the vid!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7U1EpWdXZc

Sunday morning found me by the ocean
counting promises and dreams
I don't know how many of them
I have lost or broken
Most all of them it seems
Take a swing at me and you will be
hard pressed to find
a place that ain't already
black and blue
So throw another boulder
on these sloping shoulders see if
I can find a way to make it through

But it won't get me down
I've got wings, can't you see
No I won't turn around
That ain't me

Another lonely mile from home I wander
dusty feet and conscience clean
It seems no matter how the clouds may gather in the distance
it can't be as bad as where I've been

So it won't get me down
I've got wings, can't you see
No I won't turn around
That ain't me

Lord knows I'm a rolling stone
marching to a different drum
and Lord knows that I may die alone
but I know that I'll be ready to go home

So it won't get me down
I've got wings, can't you see
No I won't turn around
That ain't me

So it won't get me down
I've got wings, can't you see
No I won't turn around
That ain't me
That ain't me
That ain't me

Sunday morning found me by the ocean...

Unspoken

I wish that you would see me
sitting off beside myself
and walk over to say "Hello"
or "How are you?" or something else.
I wish that you would be the one
instead of him or her or them
who comes along when I go walking
in the sunset-colored sand.
I wish that you would leave me notes
(it doesn't have to be a letter)
just to let me know you noticed
make me feel somehow I matter.
I wish that you'd give me a chance
to make you laugh or smile or grin
and work to somehow earn the look
given to one who's more than 'friends'.

Driftwood (Ex-pat)

I have been weathered for far too long.
Tossed about, worn down
chipped away
shaped.
I have absorbed too much.
Early on
in the warm days of youth
I stood
basking in bright rays
before being taken by the mighty
cold
unfeeling sea.
I don't remember much about the middle part.
Some days were calm, flat;
others were black, wild.
What matters
is that now, I sit curing
as a tourist
or ex-pat (as it were)
in bright rays once again.

Oleai (To Gulls)

I can be found
where the surf and the shore
get together for lunch
in the poor part of town
at a little cafe or bar on the corner
discussing their guests
and the rest of the day.

And I can be heard
swapping jokes with the night
playing poker with stars
telling tall-tales to gulls
we send up a pray'r
and prepare for the morning
that breaks over Topachau
East of our fire.

**

I feel like this isn't done, may add more later.

Quest

I follow a scent.
Nose to the ground
pawing at clues
get distracted
...something smells like...

I dunno, something more exciting

What was I chasi-
Oh, there it is again.

keeps popping up
hooking me
there's
so
many
leads!

I faintly remember
the reasons for my quest.
For some reason, it is important.
More important than
...well, than anything else.

But oh!

The world is a tantalizing
frustrating
disappointing
red place.

Song- Loose cannon

V1
My heart's on a hair trigger tonight
Step away before you wind up in my sights
I'm shootin' at anything that moves
and I see you standing there
I'm a loose cannon man can you relate
to having everything you wanted turn up
not to be fate
Pretty girls will be the death of me
at such a young age
so tonight I need another one
to ease my pain

CHORUS
I don't
learn my lesson very well
I eagerly
create my own personal hell
Oh baby I know you will do me wrong tonight
but it's OK, I like it
lets get closer

V2
Your heart is a' gonna start a fight
He won't be as charming with black eyes
Sharp dressed, impressed and outta sight
And he sees you standing there
I'm a loose cannon man can you relate
to having everything you wanted turn up
not to be fate
Pretty girls will be the death of me
at such a young age
so tonight I need another one
to ease my pain

CHORUS
I don't
learn my lesson very well
I eagerly
create my own personal hell
Oh baby I know you will do me wrong tonight
but it's OK, I like it
lets get closer

BRIDGE
Come and put your arms around me
Tell me that you love me
even if ya don't (even if ya don't)
I've been captured, you surround me
Baby lets not take it slow

CHORUS
I don't
learn my lesson very well
I eagerly
create my own personal hell
Oh baby I know you will do me wrong tonight
but it's OK, I like it
lets get closer

I don't
learn my lesson very well
I eagerly
create my own personal hell
Oh baby I know you will do me wrong tonight
but it's OK, I like it
lets get closer

Song- Love takes you

I wrote this song about some ex-girlfriends and various other people of importance, and it's only about 50% true.. Enjoy

VERSE 1
Sarah was a girl
who I knew in second grade
with those big blue eyes
that make a boy lose track of time and space
We played tag and hide and seek
she put her lips up to my cheek
and I knew then and there
I knew she was made for me
But the years went by
and time and tides
and fortune had their way
then in an airport in Japan
I thought I heard her call my name
The next morning when we woke up
in each others' arms...

CHORUS
I said it's funny how life takes you
where the hell it wants to go
ya know, it's funny how love takes you
where it will

VERSE 2
Kimmie was the next girl
who I thought would be the last
But during high school change can happen
over night or between class
She went Left but I was Right
so I took her home
and said "Good night"
then cried the whole way
back to my place like a child
I think about her now and then
and wonder where she's at
But between her and Grace
and Amanda's place my memory starts to lapse
maybe one day I'll be old
and cold enough to look her up
and I'll say...

CHORUS
Ain't it funny how life takes you
where the hell it wants to go
ya know, it's funny how love takes you
where it will

BRIDGE
I don't know where they all are now
Im not sure where I am myself
But I'll follow the road I'm on
'Cause I don't know nothing else


VERSE 3
Jessi is a girl
who I've known most of my days
born as wild and free as me
but with an angels eyes and face
She moved West to find herself
but wound up finding someone else
You know Idaho ain't for the faint of heart
I thought that she was gone
until one day I got a call
She'd seen my face on Rolling Stone
and said she had some things to talk about
We sat and reminisced
until the sun came up

CHORUS
She said it's funny how life takes you
where the hell it wants to go
ya know, it's funny how love takes you
where it will

I said it's funny how life takes you
where the hell it wants to go
ya know, it's funny how love takes you
where it will

Yea it's funny how love takes you
where it will

It is beautiful everywhere

Some people see a city
I see dreams.

I see...
chipped paint covering
cracked front steps holding up
old black men telling lies

little boys playing rough
dressing like their fathers
packing imaginary heat

women with eyes
that wished their little girls
would change the world

and angels who
scarcely rest from protecting
dreams
It is beautiful everywhere.

Mirror

The moon in my mirror
tonight may be clearer
than ever before I have seen

But it's still a surprise
to see shadows at night
as I wander along in its beams

One Red Morning/ A Re-birth

One Red Morning

I saw a girl one red morning
whose coal hair shivered in the breeze
whose brown face turned towards the sun
like a green leaf
and whose delicate features
made love to the light as it broke over the Pacific.

I saw a girl one red morning
whose small feet knew mountaintops
whose dark eyes held the depths
of the sea
and whose heart
beat with the wings of the circling gulls.

***

A Re-birth

These are the good days
the golden hours
of playing tag, kickball
falling in love
and such.
These are the lazy afternoons
the time spent
at the end of the dock
where the fishermen
cast their lines.
These are sunny times
the oily sunblock days
the sweaty brow days
the gold and the brown.
These are cool splashes
clear water
slippery rocks
wet clothes.
These are starry nights
pillows in pickups
jazz and stocking feet.

These days awaken something
deep inside.. It stirs around
and explodes from every pore
a song
a peal of thunder
a spring
a re-birth.

I am ALIVE.